Variety Real Podcast #12 - The Sectarian Iconoclast

Joy to the World by G. F. Handel performed by: Kim Butler! Thank you LibriVox! This is definitely a traditional Christmas tale. Winking emoticon....

Variety Real Podcast #11 - The Secular Priest

Robot song speech lyrics by Stephen Byrne, the lyrical genius. ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas (A Visit From St. Nicholas) from LibriVox as written by Clement Clarke Moore and read by Sam Lipten.

Variety Real Podcast #10 - Dirty

Cleanliness is next to Godliness. Ladies, what's your complexion problem? Bickering leads to sexy time....Let's knock da boots! Now, scrub your soul clean with brand new "Religion"!

Variety Real Podcast #9 - Dark

Nightfall. The hooded wife. My days are in the yellow leaf. Robot advice on refraining from burying the dead in the Pet Cemetery. Don't touch that.

Variety Real Podcast #8 - Revolutions

With the kind assistance of others, this episode was possible. The opening song's brilliant lyrics were written by Sam McCanna, of SkurvyInk fame. "I am so happy fun time! I like a all of friend now! I am so happy exciting time! Everybody love now!" Also included is a song by Belle Baker: "Laughing at Life". Thank you all. I love a all of friends now!

Need Shirts?

Please visit Skurvy Ink for the best shirts in the known universe. Wear astounding works of art on your back!

Variety Real Podcast #7 - Reflections

Deep deep deep deep. Night Watch is Night Watch. The place we get stuck in. Strong smell of gasoline in the air. Worlds in collision. I want to go home. I know it isn't very funny.

Variety Real Podcast #6 - Games

Footsteps. Dollars. Shoehorn. To the moon. Punch punch. Pick red or green. Draping material. Yay! (Used kitchen fat.)

Variety Real Podcast #5 - Fun

If you knew Suzie like I know Suzie....The cosmic communicator. The bogey warning oscillator. What's that noise? Even better than Christmas.

Variety Real Podcast #4 - The Art Of The Deal

Subliminal whispers. Cheese is as adjustable as milk itself. It pays to be ignorant. Incessant branding. Because I'm extra flozzy. Frozen Slats. Meet Planet Man, man.

Variety Real Podcast #3 - The Cost Of Living

Churches and synagogues. Goodnight. Lions at the gate. When ships collide. Robot = lust for life. Alas, the cost of living. Coda.

Variety Real Podcast #2 - Love

Piccadilly Circus. What's gonna happen?  I wonder where Slats and Father are. I love you. You are nice.

Variety Real Podcast #1 - Peace

We want peace. Constructive uses. Planet man. Why do we ignore the robot? What are we all so happy about?

What I Learned Today (Monday, July 25th, 2011)

I went through the day thinking that I wouldn't learn a thing today. But every day is a chance to learn something new. Not a fact that can be read from the dry pages of a dusty dictionary. What we really learn comes from a revelatory sense we get during the day: A light-bulb turns on over your head; you have that "A-HA!" moment and slap yourself on the forehead. This thing you learn is a phenomena that is as old as the world but brand new to you. And so you feel like a dumb-ass. You think: "Why didn't I ever figure this out? Am I a dumb-ass?" And you realize you are speaking aloud, in a crowded room. At "game-night" with your jaded game geek friends, trying to remember all the rules for "Notre Dame". Wishing you were playing "A Castle for All Seasons". Wishing you sang with the "Four Seasons", or that you stayed at a hotel by the same name. Realizing the lights are flickering on and off at the library. Realizing the library is closed. And you're naked. Wondering why you're naked. Wondering, once and for all, why am I blogging? What is the blog about? Oh, library's closing.....

Green Eggs and Ham

From the vaults. The song Green Eggs and Ham from AGLETS, one of the best footwear bands to ever exist.

Aglets Song: Fugue

Fugue. Devastation. Moss.

Aglets Video: Prince Albert Fish

Please watch this video from the band Aglets. Enjoy it if you please.

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Variety Reál is your one-stop destination for the Variety Reál Webcast or "podcast", Smiley Face Comics, Aglets (the band) videos, as-yet-to-be-announced content, and actual blog postings. So stay tuned, and eventually, you will find a treasure trove of grand entertainment. Thank you too much.